Your Nuptial Day Duties Unpacked

In the time leading up to that big wedding day, the most important duty of among the wedding party members is for the one individual to find their better half – the person whom they wish to spend the rest of their life with. This could also be the most challenging and time-consuming duty. Vanessa Rogers spells out duties at a wedding.

Among all those qualified to do high-level food and beverage related jobs in Pretoria , the most tongue in cheek wedding coordinator believes it is wise to book your venue before you meet the love of your life. Also, don’t leave the wedding too long if you’re hoping that your parents will pay, or at least contribute. They are unlikely to be sympathetic when it comes to wedding expenses, if you’re a couple with a collective age over 801 But seriously, once brides of all kinds and descriptions have found their grooms (of all kinds and descriptions), the remaining duties are infinitely simpler by comparison and can be spread out between the honour assistants, siblings/parents, and other family and friends so that the occasion is as magical as you’ve always imagined. Because different sources offer radically varying lists of duties for each key participant at a fancy-schmancy wedding, the most common have been summarised below for your convenience: At the reception, the bride stands in the receiving line with her groom (or female partner), dances the first dance with him, and then later with her father, and spends time with her guests and both sets of parents. She will also need to write thank-you notes when she returns from honeymoon, in acknowledgement of all the gifts that the couple has received. The groom stands in the receiving line with his bride (or male partner), dances with his mother after his first dance, responds to the best man/person’s toast, and spends time with all the guests and parents. The bride’s honour attendant – typically referred to as the matron-of-honour if married, or the maid-of-honour (affectionately, the “maiden-of-dishonour”) if unmarried – has usually completed a great many of her duties by the time the wedding day dawns. These include arranging the bridal shower, sorting out fittings for the bridesmaids’ dresses, and deciding on a combined gift for the bride. This fabulously sorted gal will need to arrive early to help the bride dress and finish packing for her honeymoon. Further, she will be expected to assist the bride with her train and veil throughout the day, and must also hold her bouquet when necessary. Additional duties include keeping the groom/female partner’s ring safe, and holding it during the service until it is called for, standing beside the bride during the ceremony, and later beside the groom in the receiving line. She should be over the age of 18 so that her signature on the marriage licence is legal, and she gets to dance with the best man/individual during the bridal couple’s first dance. The best man is generally chosen due to his close relationship with the groom – he should, in fact, be the groom’s most trustworthy friend or relative. His duties prior to the wedding are extensive, and include: checking on details related to out-of-town ushers, arranging for their tuxedo fittings, and organising the groom’s bachelor party, together with transportation for the groom and ushers on the day of the wedding. Duties required on the day offer a lot more to look forward to than the sweat that has gone before, even though they are plentiful: arriving early to get the groom properly outfitted and his packing for the honeymoon competed; signing the marriage registry as an over-18 witness; remaining with the (typically jittery) groom while guests arrive in the church after ensuring he has arrived there on time in the first place; and keeping the bride’s ring safe, and holding it during the service until called upon. Other best man duties include distributing fees for officiants, organists, soloists, catering specialists, cake suppliers and drivers; seeing that transportation to the ceremony is in order; proposing a toast to the married couple, together with reading out any emails, during the party, from out-of-towners who could not attend; and, last but not least, assisting in any way that is needed to assist the couple in departing from the venue – which generally involves the spraying of much shaving cream and the throwing of enormous volumes of petals, streamers, or confetti. An important note for those Pretoria-based food and beverage professional who are new to the game, is that the number of attendants to be expected is often based on the size and formality of a wedding – some large-scale nuptials may have as many as eight to 12 honour attendants/ushers on each side, while a small intimate wedding may limit their numbers to just a key bridesmaid and best man. With this in mind, remind all involved that: Bridesmaids go to the florist and pick up the bouquets , gather with other attendants at the designated venue, participate in the processional and recessional in the church or elsewhere, and dance the first dance with their partnering usher; Ushers are required to arrive well ahead of the ceremony , to help seat everyone – the bride’s guests on the left of the aisle, and the groom’s guests on the right. According to tradition, ushers are expected to step forward and offer their right arm to guests as they arrive, prioritising the elderly where possible. They also unroll the aisle runner, escort guests to their cars after the ceremony, participate in the processional and recessional, and ensure that the ceremony site is cleared of all belongings at the close. Ushers also have the pleasure of dancing with their partnering bridesmaid during the reception’s first dance; Smaller roles at a wedding include that of the flower girl , who walks down the aisle ahead of the bride carrying a basket of flowers or confetti (to later distribute to the guests as the married couple emerges from signing the registry); and that of the ring bearer , who is usually the young son of one of the guests and is tasked with walking close to the flower girl, and just ahead of the bride, carrying a pillow with symbolic rings stitched onto it (or the actual rings, if he is not too young to lose them on the way there!) It goes without saying that being chosen as a bridesmaid or groom is flattering, and a great honour, but it can also prove a great deal of hard work – and rather stressful when things take an unexpected turn… Anyone thriving in an event coordinator, or food and beverage job , will likely have a few nuggets to share with soon-to-be bridesmaids and grooms: such as the importance of gathering and keeping nearby at all times an emergency kit of umbrellas (for sudden and unexpected downpours just as the photos are due to be taken), superglue (for shoes, and other items of apparel that mysteriously come apart at the seams); and a black khoki (to cover over unwanted white flecks on black items, such as bird droppings on the groom’s tuxedo. Say, what?) Fortunately, weddings generally have the most forgiving guests of any occasion. What’s important is to think quickly and act without delay if anything goes askew; and to remember that once the ceremony is over and the bubbly is flowing, few people will remember any mishap from earlier on in the day.